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    It isn’t your job to safeguard their sobriety, and someone firmly grounded in recovery won’t expect you to, but as a member of their support network you’ll need to encourage them to prioritize their recovery, sometimes even over you.

    You also need to assess how much baggage you can handle. They may have accrued debts, a criminal record or legal problems, or irrevocably damaged key relationships in their lives that make your interactions with their family and friends tenuous.

    I am worried that he's not stable enough, though, and that the relationship won't stand a chance until he's really back on his feet (including finding a new job). I get the time has passed but your situation is interesting. One year sobriety in my book is strongly recommended. I mentioned this one evening as we were discussion his issues and recovery.

    If he had even gone to al anon meetings and tried hard with their programme, I would have stayed with him. We had only been on four casual dates so I had not shared the exact details of my past because they are painful and personal.

    Of course, not all addicts relapse and those that do are often able to get back on track before too much damage is done, but the threat is there nevertheless.

    If you move forward with the relationship, be aware of a few unique aspects of dating someone in recovery.

    After evaluating all of the pros and cons, the real question isn’t whether you should date a recovering addict, but whether the person has the qualities you want in a romantic partner.

    In the end, it’s a very personal decision that you have to make: Is dating a recovering addict a deal-breaker for you? My partner and I are both recovering addicts-- we've been together for years now.

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